I almost feel like I've meandered a little of course here. I originally started this blog to write about consumer products or commercial business experiences but lately I find myself writing about day to day life.

I'm just gonna roll with it. So we'll move right on to my next topic.

The English language (US version). Has anyone else noticed the complete degradation and bastardization of the Kings English? Leave it to America to take something fully functional and completely ruin it in less than 200 years.

Words that shouldn't even exist like 'ginormous' and the lacking concept of their/they're/there makes my blood boil. What happened? Has America become that lazy and lackadaisical that no one cares? And what's worse, no one cares to correct it! 'Dude, who cares?' You fucking should you sack of steaming shit.

Help me stop the retardation of our language by at least learning basic grammar and spelling. It's not that hard.

I feel like we're all in this together. No one really knows what they want or how they're going to get it. They just know what they get and decide if it's what they want later on.

And that's why we're all here with broken hearts and empty glasses. Somewhere, somehow along the way things got mixed up.

So we hate the past and we can't reel the future in fast enough. Ironically, because of this we often pass up the best things life has to offer or scare them away because we're chomping at the bit for the next best thing.

We move on, looking forward but never right where we are. We anticipate the next big event and rush everything else along to get there. And before you know it, it's gone. And you're left with a strange feeling. Not one of disappointment or regret - but a bittersweet nostalgic emotion that tears you apart from the inside out.

Not everything turns out as we expect. But in the end you have to have a sense of camaraderie because we're all here in the same sinking ship. We're all hoping that the next person we meet, or the next place we go will have something to keep this vessel alive.

It hit me about 3 days ago. Wednesday afternoon I'm sitting here, and I get a text message on my phone and it just hit me. Communicating through text messaging is entirely more popular than calling someone.

And I hate it.

What is the affection towards texting? I can see if you just want to say, 'Be there in 15 minutes.' or, 'Need a ride call me ASAP.' because that is a single thought and can be communicated more effectively via text.

But when I get messages like, 'Who's going to be there?' or, 'How do I get there?' it's fucking frustrating.

Do you really want me to type out a fucking guest list? Do you want me to spell out step by step instructions on the routes to take? I fucking suck at texting, and I try to avoid it as much as possible.

A simple 30 second conversation would avoid all of this useless finger work, and save me some angst.

Call, don't text. Please.

I motion for a license test at the age of 60.

I see more and more old people on the road driving like they don't have any eyeballs.

The first example I can think of was a few years back. I was traveling down Memorial drive when I saw a pair of headlights in front of me. Some old lady who was probably 85 was driving on the wrong side of the road, and didn't even know it.

And most recently I was traveling down Route 116 when cars started swerving into the oncoming lane.. there was an old man completely stopped in the middle off the road and they were trying not to slam into the back of him.

I can't believe that kids get so much shit for being 'wreckless' drivers.. when old people are twice as bad!

License tests at 60, 65, 70, and EVERY YEAR after that should keep some of these sacks of skin off the road.

-The Biscuit.

Last night was possibly the finest example of douchebagery that I have EVER encoutered.

Let me paint the scene for you.

I had received a call from my good friend Jess. Her friend Laura was leaving for school Sunday and had a bunch of people get together to go out drinking in downtown Springfield. We first stopped at Theodore's so some people could eat, then we went to Pour House because Laura works there when she's not at school.

And here's were the idiocy comes in. The most asinine example of poor DJ'ing that I've ever experienced in my entire life. The most atrocious exhibit of 'I-don't-know-how-to-DJ' DJ'ing..

I walk up to the DJ, who had been playing shit like Brown Eyed Girl and Jon Bon Jovi.. which are okay songs for a young crowd if you've got a bunch of people already dancing and singing.. but he didn't.

This prime example of Grade A Douche looked like a hairy Gilligan whose mouth produced too much spit and wore large white tee's in an effort to be 'hip hop'.

I asked him to play 'Stronger' from Daft Punk/Kanye West - he said he'd find it but ended up playing some terrible remix of Gold Digger. The song restarted twice and each time played for about 30 seconds and then he killed it entirely.

And still, no one was dancing. The girls that we were with there with had gone up to dance, but since the retard had no idea what he was doing the song had stopped and started again by the time they had gotten to the front of the bar.

So I asked him for another request, 'Wouldn't Get Far' - The Game .. and I guess he's sensitive about The Game because he flipped out.

'NO! NO WAY! We're playing stuff people can DANCE TO. Not that CRAP!' Spitting and salivating everywhere, his eyes produced a furious anger. I walked away laughing, and we left the bar.

So my suggestion is to not go to Pour House on a Friday night because the DJ there has absolutely no idea how to work his own craft. He should, in my opinion, remove himself from the gene pool immediately to prevent any possibility of breeding.

-Timmy Burns!