Timmy Burns

What did 5 fingers say to the face?

I haven't written anything new about in 13 days, which isn't to say that I haven't wanted to - but I just haven't had the time.

And yet, when I do have the time I can't find a way to write what I want to say. Lately I've been in a transitory phase where I've been re-aligning my ideals and morals with my outlook on life. I've been observing others interact and studying their lives. I've been trying really hard to be a good friend and make up for times that I haven't been.

Sometimes it's tough to be a good friend. I see a friend as someone who looks out for your best interest without putting personal motivation in front of well being. I'm guilty of these things myself, and I'm trying to resolve the issues that I have created. I used to think that standing up for myself and what I believed in was the right way, and if someone didn't like what I said or did, I didn't care because they didn't understand me anyway.

I'd say that people don't know me, and that's why they think I'm an asshole. That's not entirely true.. I really was just being an asshole.

I'm not selling my values short, or compromising my integrity - I'm working on becoming a better person. It's not an easy transition. I used to be very stubborn and realizing that getting your way only works for a very short period of time hits hard.

I feel very fortunate to have the friends that I have. It's not every day you find a group of people you can count on for help, who aren't afraid to verbally slap you in the mouth and tell you that you're acting like an idiot, and genuinely look out for your best interest.

It's when their hidden agendas drive their reason behind their advice that things get complicated. It's tough to sort out between the two. Mark Twain had said, 'Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.'

I'm working on being great. I'm creating a more positive outlook on life. There are things in my life that have changed in the past few months that have made me realize this, and for that I'm truly thankful. This change cannot happen over night and it will probably take the rest of my life to work out. But I feel that as long as I strive to be positive and reflect that onto the ones that I meet, that the reaction can only reproduce positivity. Challenge my friends, push them to succeed and support them when they falter.

This, in a sense, is my way of putting my faith back in humanity.